Healing From Loss

Taken from the book A Time to Mourn, A Time to Dance:

"There is no straight line of healing from loss. In fact, there are multiple routes, including dead ends and blind spots. There are detours that cause us to change direction, often leaving us feeling lost and confused. Some potential detours can take us through shock, denial, and disbelief. Others may draw us into paths of anger, depression and despair." (Page 16)

How to Heal includes:

* Having the Experience. This is the entry point.

* Owning the Experience as a loss. This means not denying it, pretending it doesn't hurt, or minimizing it's importance.

* Willingness and readiness to walk the path of healing. The timing of healing is an individual thing.

* Hurting. There is no quick fix and no path that allows us to avoid the pain. We must face the pain and experience it.

* Expressing and not repressing the hurt. That means finding a support system or a friend who is willing to let us experience and share our feelings.

* Assessing and reevaluating ourselves and the situation. It may seem to delay our progress, but it's a necessary part of healing. Early grief it feels like we will never survive long enough to find the end of the maze.

* Learning to live with a redefinition of self. This final step requires finding ways to reinvest our emotional energy, rather han having all of our energy stuck in re-experiencing the loss. This takes place slowly over time. Expect set backs.