Never Forget

Do they realize that when they post pictures on Face Book that I can't help but see them? Do they care? Do they even remember that the one they called "friend" is gone? Do they forget?

The addiction they have to the bottle either fueled the personal anger and lack of self control or gave aid to their nonchalant attitude about my precious son's life the night they killed him. Yes, I blame them all. Everyone in that house at the time is held accountable by God for their actions with no excuses. The fact that some of them have pictures posted on public forums showing the dazed look of drunken stupor as the normal look on their face angers me to no end. Part of me pities them for not being able to pull themselves out of this addiction and the other part of me rages that they stil let alchohol control their lives.

And the pictures of them playing in their little "rock band" fill me with so much hurt and anger that hot, painful tears just stream from my eyes and my heart feels as if it will stop completely. There they stand with smirks and smiles on their faces having what looks like a good time. Everyone of them are enjoying the "lights" and attention that is being shed on them as is evident by all the photos. "Amazing", I think to myself. They can stand there 17 months after Josh's death.............after two of those band members killed my son......one of them by actually going in the other room, loading the gun with three bullets, bringing the weapon back intentionally to the room where Josh was and killing him either by his own hand (as I believe happened) or by his taunting and misleading Josh whom I am sure thought the weapon was empty when Jake new better. So, there they stand enjoying their night out, playing music, laughing, smiling, at least one with that glassy look to his eyes as if my son never existed.

Perhaps they are tortured when the music stops and they are no longer in the lime light of their adoring crowd? Perhaps the memories of what happened that night haunt them. I don't know. But, to a grieving mother those pictures on FB are a mockery and a slap in the face.