My heart

My heart seemed to die with my sons. Everything was like a fog and my heart beat so slowly. Today my heart is racing. Panic. Fear. More Panic. How can life go on? How can things be the same? How am I suppose to eat, sleep...............how am I suppose to breathe? The day to day must continue. There are meals to prepare, laudry to wash, house to clean, animals to tend to...........but how am I suppose to have the presence of mind to remember how to do those things. I start something and walk away. I go back and try to continue. I can't. I come back again and again and inch by inch, complete a task that should only take me minutes. My chest feels tight. My shoulders and back hurt. My thoughts race. I panic thinking the panic won't go away and that brings more panic.