Heavy, heavy heart tonight

My heart is so heavy. It's been a difficult day. I have been on the edge of tears all day and clinging to the joy that I can find in the simple things, as much as possible.

I dreamed last night that Josh was with me. He was looking for food and seemed concerned about being hungry. I assured him that he had nothing to fear, as he would never be hungry again. He then looked at me and said, "I am not worried about me. I am worried about the children in the world who have no food."

I woke feeling as though I had been with him..........joyful...............and sad at the same time. While just a dream that was probably spurred by my thoughts of him earlier in the evening, I could not shake that feeling of urgency that I must do something to help.

I was thinking of Josh earlier in the day and how he was always so giving. The Christmas before he passed away, he put so much of his money in the jar at school for a needy family, that finally his shop teacher told him he was not allowed to give anymore.

I will be giving, as I always do, to a charity that provides not only food but a home for orphans. I will do so in the spirit of my son who gave so much of himself just because that's the way he was.

How I miss him!