Dreams of Josh

I woke to a gentle rain around four o'clock this morning. I went out on the deck and of course, I thought of my Josh. When I went back to sleep, I dreamed of him. It was so clear and beautiful. He was younger and I held him lovingly in my arms for a long time. I told him that I love him. He said back to me "I love you" so clearly. Then, after a while, he was gone. I looked everywhere for him, but I couldn't find him. I woke up crying but not before these words came into my head from my son, "There's nothing there for me."

What a precious dream. What a comfort to know my son is right where he belongs, in the arms of the Father.

Let The Waters Rise

Let The Waters Rise

by Mikeschair

Don't know where to begin
Its like my world's caving in
And I try but I can't control my fear
Where do I go from here?

sometimes its so hard to pray
When You feel so far away
But I am willing to go
Where you want me to
God, I trust You

There's a raging sea
Right in front of me
Wants to pull me in
Bring me to my knees
So let the waters rise
If You want them to
I will follow You
I will follow You
I will follow You

I will swim in the deep
'Cuz You'll be next to me
You're in the eye of the storm
And the calm of the sea
You'll never out of reach

God, You know where I've been
You were there with me then
You were faithful before
You'll be faithful again
I'm holding Your hand

There's a raging sea
Right in front of me
Wants to pull me in
Bring me to my knees
So let the waters rise
If You want them to
I will follow You
I will follow You
I will follow You

God Your love is enough
You will pull me through
I'm holding onto You
God Your love is enough
I will follow You
I will follow You



There's a raging sea
Right in front of me
Wants to pull me in
Bring me to my knees
So let the waters rise
If You want them to
I will follow You
I will follow You
I will follow You

Fall

We just marked the second year anniversary of Josh's death on the 16th and now face the first year anniversary of our niece, Angela's, death. It weighs heavy on our hearts as the month of October approaches.


I believe Father takes some of his most precious children home in the fall. My grandmother, mother and Josh all went to Heaven in September and our sweet girl Angela went in October.


Still, with all the sadness, we have lots of reasons to celebrate. Fall is such a festive season. Even our Heavenly Father decorates the trees and landscapes in various colors for this special season. I still believe................no, I know.....that sadness and joy can abide in the same heart.

In Memory

Alter flowers in memory of Josh who is celebrating is second year in heaven.

2 Corinthians 5:8 (NKJV)

We are confident, yes, well pleased rather to be absent from the body and to be present with the Lord

Two Years

It's been two years since my baby left this world. For the first time, I have no words.

This Journey

Tomorrow (the 14th) will mark the two year anniversary of the event that took Josh's life. The 16th will mark the two year anniversary of his death. The pain is still sharp and real, as is the loss. Father has shown me time and time again how He picks me up and carries me when I am hurting too badly to go on. He just loves me and wraps me in His arms. When enough time has passed, He gently puts me back down and says, "It's time to walk some more on this journey." Sometimes I kick and scream and cry and say, "I don't want to walk anymore." He firmly but gently forces me to take a few more steps. He is also quick to remind me that He will be right there holding my hand along the way. He is always quick to pick me back up again, anytime I just need to find shelter there in His embrace. He knows the perfect balance between the times when I feel the pain more intensely and the times when He allows me to rest. What an awesome, awesome Father we have!