Wednesday, July 28, 2010

My grandmother's faith..............

Last night my grandmother called. She is a strong, beautiful lady who has always held strong to her Faith. She knows what it is to lose a child. She lost her only child, my mother. She endured the pain as she helped to raise her two grandchildren all the while exhibiting her undying Faith in a God who is good. Now, she grieves the death of her grandson. If anyone understands the pain I endure, it is my grandmother. She asked, when we talked, if I was ok. I said, "yes". She asked again, are you sure you are ok? I started to cry. She knows. I can be strong in front of everyone else but hearing my grandmother who knows my grief, who knows the pain of losing a child and a grandchild, asking again if I am ok and expecting to hear an honest answer, I broke down and cried.

I cried myself to sleep. I woke up crying. I need to cry. I need to release the pain in the form of tears. Sometimes the pain is just so hard to bear.

My grandmother is a wonderful example. I only hope that I can exhibit half as much faith as she has.

2 comments:

Becky said...

How amazing for you that you have your grandmother to go through this journey with. Everyone needs someone who will alk with you through this nightmare journey you are traveling. I know the pain of grief but believe that the grief for a child is in a whole different catagory, one I cant comprehend.
Hugs to you and prayers for you to find the strength that you need ...
Becky
http://conversationswithmydad.blogspot.com/

Maple Lawn Farm said...

Thank you, Becky. May you also find comfort and peace.

Tammy