It seems I only come to this blog now when I am extremely down. I have been doing fairly well recently with more energy and more of a zest for life. Of course, always hurting and missing my Josh, but doing better with dealing with things.
The last two nights I have only slept until 4 am and then 3 am and spent the rest of the night awake. It begins to wear on me after a while and this morning something relatively simple went wrong and I totally lost it. I had a major melt down with screaming (which I never do) and sobbing in a fetal position on the bed. Where did that come from? I don't like that part of me. Now, I am exhausted.............totally spent from all the emotion.
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I don't know if anyone will find what I am sharing here to be helpful, but I am compelled to share my heart and be completely open. Perhaps it will help me in the healing process and maybe it will even help someone else. This journey will only be complete when I hold Josh in my arms once again.
2 comments:
Some times the spasms of grief are worse because they are farther apart?
Forgive yourself, please. Maybe get counseling?
Thanks, Regina. I just finished up a group counselling session which I found very helpful. I do have the name of the lady who led our group and she has promised to talk to me should I ever want to talk. I am sure I will sit down with her from time to time just so I have an outlet of sorts to talk things out.
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