Despair

I have only been able to do little more than the necessities. I am so depressed. I just can't even function. I don't know how to get past the pain. It is so overwhelming. I just want Josh to be here. I want to be able to go back and try to do something to keep this from happening. I don't know how I am suppose to find purpose and meaning in life. For so many years, I took care of my kids, worried about them, prayed for them.....................and now Josh is gone. Now what am I suppose to do?